"begin your essay with an interesting fact or quote"
im gonna fucking ACE this essay
if you’re reading this i’m beautiful
where is the warning that says “this is irreversible”
I feel like one of the greatest conquests of the english language is the phrase ‘I’ma’ because it’s an abbreviation for ‘I am going to’ like we managed to subtract all the spaces and three-fourths of the letters and we still know what it means that’s powerful
me: hi, can i have a large—
starbucks employee: you mean a venti?
me: can we not do this
nothing annoys me more than when teachers say “now i want you to work with someone you don’t normally talk to” because not only am i soul crushingly self conscious but there is a REASON I DON’T TALK TO THESE PEOPLE
can you imagine how fucking relieved the french must have been when we reached the year 2000?
they went from having to say “mille neuf cents quatre-vingt-dix-neuf” to just having to say “deux mille” to say the year
do you ever meet someone who’s like the human version of unnecessary comments on a text post